Naked at Bible college

I have a confession. I hope you won't hold it against me. It's nothing huge, but it is a confession. Are you ready? Here it goes. I told a lie. If I were going to justify it, which I am, I would say that it wasn't really a lie pursea. It was more the truth but leaving out some details. But heres where it gets fun. I got called out on it.

The story goes like this. I'm an open book, but out here I have tried to be a little less that way and a little more open to listen. The other night a new friend of mine asked about a part of my life. After I got finished with a ten minute story she staired at me for a minute and then said," You're only telling me half of the story." as she walked out of the room.

The story continues. Last night in a philosophy class my professor puts me up against an older wiser student with an opposing oppinion to write our oppinions out as diagrams right next to eachother and then explain. He went first and absolutely blew me out of the water. Nothing in me wanted to explain mine. I wanted to tuck my tail between my legs and keep walking. For the sake of staying on my professors good side, and because of my competitiveness, I explained mine and then sat down. I later found out that the professor leaned towards my side of the argument when the two of us went to get coffee, which has nothing to do with the story but making me feel a little bit better.

So how do these two stories possibly connect to one? They connect somewhere in the middle of one final story. A time in life existed when everything was good. Pain did not exist. Humans got side tracked though, we fell, and years later we are still feeling naked and ashamed. Ashamed of rejection, pain, imperfections, etc. And when these things are exposed they make us feel naked and ashamed and we may not want to die but we no longer want to live in that situation. We look for a way out and that way out leads to more nudity.

It is in these moments that I realize I am not chasing after God because I want to be some spiritual power house. I'm chasing because I am desperate and needy. I don't feel alone on this.

I was asked to start this blog to track what I was learning, correct? This is one of those things. Anyone who writes about a paradim, a habitual way ot thinking, or a worldview and makes it %100 unbiased is not credible.